Being A Mother Of A Boy

After our little guy was born, I shared on my previous blog a bit about the shock I had when we found out we were having a boy. My mother had two girls, and I grew up in a home with just women. Other than a short time living with my Dad, my husband was the first man I ever lived with. There's nothing unusual about this situation; however, when it came to having babies, the realization I was having a boy was one I did not know what to do with.

I remember sitting at a restaurant with my husband, and this gut feeling of fear rushing over me. The feeling was just that: fear. How do I raise a boy? All I know is girl. How will I ever relate to him? Will we be close like I would have assumed I would be with a girl? All these thoughts flooded my mind as we sat there looking at the ultrasound picture, with the small writing of "boy" with an arrow pointing to his "you know what" and this small note above confirming it.

Sure, the moment did not last long, maybe an hour, and I was already over the initial fear, and the pure joy of knowing a bit more about my very first child rushed over me. But in all of it, I carried with me a deep need to know that somehow I would be able to do this. 

For months leading up to our son's birth, I started many books and read many blog posts, like "Top 10 Things to Know When You are Having a Boy" or "Raising Boys," by Dr. Dobson. In all of it, I was looking for some sort of answer for how to deal with the fear of my darling child having more energy than I could have ever imagined, the desire to play with swords and guns, wrestle, and ultimately probably break more than just a few bones in his lifetime. I wanted answers to his possible love for violent sports, fast cars, or anything extreme. I wanted to know how I would possibly talk to my son about his attraction to girls one day, and for goodness sake, some things will just be left up to my husband. Basically, I needed to understand testosterone. All that to say, as much as I am sure the stages boys go through are similar to those of girls... I felt afraid due to my lack of knowledge and the unknown.

My thoughts were evident during the time when it was just me, hubby, and baby in my belly. But may I just say, once he got here, I have yet to really think about it since. I would have never expected the amount of unknown that came with being a parent. Those few things I feared regarding having a "boy" was minuscule compared to the reality of raising a child in general, girl or boy! In all of it, I know there will be differences, but for now... I look forward to facing those challenges with other mothers of boys.