I have been looking forward to this moment all day today. I have boiled some water for tea, grabbed a Ferrero Rocher from the cupboard, and am thoroughly enjoying what may be an hour to myself.
It is crazy how much I respect and enjoy down time now that I am a mother. The moments where I get to do nothing.
I'll be honest, I never thought I would be this exhausted as a new parent. I never thought the amount of energy I give of myself everyday, spending constant time and giving attention to my little one, would, at the end of the day, make me want to hit the hay at 8pm. But it does.
Every day, I go through a battle in my brain of whether or not I really want to wash my hair in the shower or skip showering all together, if doing more than 2 errands is that important, or putting on something more than sweat pants and a tank top is really required. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy going out, washing my hair, putting some normal clothes on, and getting things done... but truth be told, it just has to be worth it nowadays.
As I have mentioned before, laundry has turned into a week long process. It sits in the washer for at least 2 days, the dryer for another 2 days, and then the hamper for... well, until what I need in it is necessary. And in all of it, I go through another battle in my brain: laundry vs. nap.
My little one is nearly walking, and oh how things will change even more. Right now I can plop him down on our bed at 7am, give him a few toys and although he talks, pokes, pulls, and kicks the whole time, he is not up moving around. I will savour this time. I can still pull off another 20 minutes of lounging around and slowly waking up. In a few weeks, all that will change again. He will be able to pull himself up, walk, and go wherever his heart desires. And may I just say... he already likes trouble.
I love being a mother. It is the most amazing adventure anyone could ever ask for. But the reality is: it is hard work. I have yet to meet a mother who in all honesty can say being a parent is easy. So that being said, we should all give ourselves a little bit of grace. It is the hardest job I have ever had and more than I had ever expected. I never would have imagined that my baby would struggle to breastfeed, struggle to sleep train, or as I said before, just use up so much of my energy. But in all of it, there is one great thing I continue to remind myself of.
It is everything to know that, even in the midst of exhaustion and fatigue, I have a God who is walking us all through this stage. In all of it, I can trust Him and knowing He will only give me as much as I can handle. As hard as it may seem at times, I know He is faithful.
"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand." 1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT
Parenting is not an easy task, but it is indeed the BEST job I've ever had. It is an honor and a privilege that not everyone experiences: it is a blessing. I think parenting teaches me tons about how God cares for us. We are His children, and we take a lot of training, patience, and energy.
ReplyDeleteI often wonder if God experiences as much frustration with me as I do with my children. I feel like a broken record in my home, reminding my 3 to "be nice," obey, forgive, repent, and a whole lot of other things. How often does God need to remind me of his truths and instruction before I "get it?!" Often. Yes, I have a lot to learn.
You are doing a fabulous job with your little man--it is a blessing watching you learn and grow as a sweet mama to your boy. Be blessed and encouraged today, my friend.
Corina, you are so sweet! It is the best job is it not?! Thanks for sharing your feelings and thoughts on the topic, I feel like the challenges and joy will only grow! May I just say, you and your family constantly inspire us and I ALWAYS think if my boy turns out anything like yours I am truly blessed! We love you 5! xoxo Thanks for reading friend!
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