Ok so I promised DIY's.
We celebrated my son's first birthday last weekend and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to share a few of my favorite DIY's that I put together for his party.

I tried my best to add some links to the products I bought so hopefully it will help!

For the guest book I got everyone to sign on a Project Life card, that I had printed online. Didn't pay a cent, other then ink I guess. That way I could throw them into J's Project Life photobook I am making for him!

CHALKBOARDS:

I had wrote everything on little chalkboards. But we all know chalkboards are pricy. I bought one chalkboard which you will see below and I used a 40% off coupon at Michaels. For the rest I bought little pieces of plain wood from Michaels (ranging from .50 cents to $1.25) and I already owned some Martha Stewart Chalkboard Paint. Made my own Chalkboards!

All you need to do is two coats of paint and then take some chalk and draw over the entire thing. Then take a cloth and rub it off. It will give it the chalkboard finish.

CHALKBOARD POTS:

To incorporate more of the chalkboard/garden theme I had bought some small ceramic pots from the dollar store and again just painted them with chalkboard paint. Then bought some small little plants from Walmart for $2.50 a piece. 

BURLAP POTS:

These cute plant pots were from the dollar store again, no more then a dollar each and already owned some burlap. You can buy it from Michaels for pretty cheap if you look around and use a coupon. I hot glued it to the pot and left some extra burlap on the top to fold over into the pot and glued it in the pot as well. I had some cute polka dot ribbon I had got on sale awhile back from Michaels and just hot glued it around the edge of the burlap. I did not actually glue that part to the pot just because I liked the three dimensional look to it. I then took some parchment paper and cut some squares and shoved it in the pot.

CAKE POP HOLDER:

My amazing Mother-In-Law made these adorable cake pops. The little boxes I got from Target for .50 while they were going out of business here in Canada. I then bought some Styrofoam from Michaels and wrapped them like a present in gold paper. They worked wonderfully.

PAPER PENNANTS:

The pennants were all homemade, VERY easy again! Bought a stack of paper from Michaels (it came in a package with brown, beige, grey, yellow beige and black) cost me 5$. Also bought one sheet of gold paper. I just cut out some little triangles by hand (I am not super picky about them all looking the same, if you were picky about them I am sure a paper cutter would work and maybe cutting one and tracing it.) I then used a tiny hold punch and just threaded some string threw. Quick and easy and I made 4 of them in no time!

WOODEN CRATES:

Let's talk about the crates. These were again a bigger splurge for me although I did stain them myself. I looked for the cheapest place to buy crates and sure enough Walmart had them for $10 each. I bought 3 and stained them with a Walnut stain that I bought for the Growth Charts I had made. I kept them outside for a good week since the smell was strong but they turned out really nice in the end. 

MILK CONTAINER FAVORS:

 The favors were probably my longest project. My dear friend Erika was the one who gave me the whole idea of milk and cookies party and all thanks to these little milk carton favors she had a cut out for. Check out her blog: Scraptherapy. She is amazing. She pretty much put these adorable favors together. All I did was assemble them and then I created the little "thank you" tags on photoshop with a graphic I found online. Inside: Cookies and Cream Hersheys drops. I managed to score 4 big bags off amazon for $12.

FLAGGED STRAWS:

The black straws with the gold flag: Straws from Ikea and the flags I just made with gold washi tape, just stick the tape together over the straw and cut a little triangle at the end.

Made the picture on Photoshop and just printed it. Added pinecones as a bit of decor.

Hope you enjoy these DIY's!

Growth Chart DIY

Well I have promised a DIY for way too long!

First up: Growth Chart.

To be honest I found it hard to get a handful of nice photos through the process of making mine, so instead I thought I would just try to explain it, again it has been too long.

We have all seen them, the giant ruler growth charts!
A few months back I stopped at a friends house just for a quick visit, while there I saw her gorgeous wooden growth chart. It was a must have. After explaining all she needed was a sharpie, wood and stain to do it (plus a few more supplies I will explain), I was hooked. I not only made one for myself but one for both my sister-in-laws.

The whole thing took me about 1.5 to 2 hours long, and did not cost me more then $30:

1. Buy a 6 foot .... (Home Depot, Rona) Approx. $10
2. I started by drawing faint pencil marks with a ruler at every inch going up the board, making sure I made the half and feet marks a bit longer.
3. After double checking all the lines looked straight and accurate I grabbed a brand new black sharpie and went over all of the lines.
4. For the numbers, if you have stencils that would work really well and save you a lot of time. I did not so I printed very large numbers (1-5) off of Word in a font I liked. I then cut out all of the numbers and taped them onto the feet lines. Then I traced them with a pencil and then went over them with a sharpie.
5. After all of that was complete, I took a break.
6. After a short break, I had bought some oil, wood stain in colour: "Walnut". You can get whatever colour you like but I found the "Walnut" gave it a really nice finish. About $15 from Walmart.
7. I applied the stain while following the instructions on the back: applying and whipping as I went along.
8. I kept the chart outside for a handful of hours and then kept it in our kitchen for a few more days since the stain can be quite strong and did not want it in my son's room.

Easy-peasy. Hope you enjoyed! I loved this idea for my own kids and also as a really thoughtful, easy, fairly cheap gift you can make for others!

"I Would Be Happier If I...."

If you didn't already know, other then taking care of my little dude at home I also do photography as a pretty consistent side job. Over two months ago, while sitting at my table finishing up some photo editing I finally convinced myself to quickly upload a handful of my most recent photos to an online contest called, Shoot and Share.

I had come across the contest awhile back and at the time quickly decided I was definitely not good enough to put my photos in the contest. I was nervous that mine would stick our like a sore thumb in a wave of amazing photos. But after a couple of weeks I finally changed my mind, not totally sure why but for whatever reason I thought, why not?

In the weeks to come my husband and I took a couple of evenings to sit down with a cup of tea and vote a bit. It was fun, four photos pop up on the screen and you pick your favorite. Easy peasy. You have no idea whose is whose and chances of seeing your own in the 111, 000 photos submitted was a rush, although it never did happen.

For the next month, the contest continued to eliminate a percent of photos bit by bit. I would get Facebook update: Round 1, Round 2 etc. I never paid too much attention to them but it was always fun to see here and there how much better the photos got each round.

What happened next though I never would have anticipated. Sure enough after a few weeks I received an email while blow drying my hair that read: Julie, you have made it to the finals. I was blown away (no pun intended).
Um excuse me? I thought to myself. There must have been some sort of mistake. I could not believe it, I had made it to the finals! I had made it to the top 10% of 111, 000 photos!

The next days were spent voting, trying to see if I could see which picture(s) exactly had made it this far. Finally within another few days I received an email again: Julie, you have made it to the Top 100. I again could not believe it, with 111, 000 photos submitted and only 21 categories of photos one of MY photos made it to the Top 100. I was ecstatic.

In the midst of excitement, what happened next was even more surprising to me.
I was SO excited and so grateful to have placed in the finals! But what was once a complete shock and gratefulness to everyone who got me this far quickly turned into: Finals aren't good enough, I want more. When I placed in the Top 100, I was excited but quickly my feelings faded and again I wanted more. What was once a complete surprise, a gift I never would have expected, and a complete joy quickly turned into great expectation and a quick loss in joy when I did not see it pan out. Why is it we always want more?

I often think, if I just had more money I would be happier. If I just dressed like all those other fashionable moms I would happier. If I just decided to spend my money on getting my hair done every month I would just be happier. Sure I just got two new tops, but really I want two more now. Sure I got a nice hair cut a few months back, but now I want to dye it and get a new style. It is never ending. It is so sad to think we look so much on the outside to make us happy rather then looking on the inside. Rather then savouring the very things we have been so gracious blessed with. I often have to stop and remind myself we are the top 1% of rich people in the world, that I have NO idea what it means to be poor as "poor" as I think I am.

I never had such a vivid experience as this that made me really think about how quickly I turn what I have into "not good enough". The grass is always greener on the other side hey? Nah it is garbage. It is never ending, even if I place finals in a contest I will want more. I make it to Top 100 and guess what, I will still want more. It won't stop. And even if I would have won, I would have taken a few moments to celebrate, probably walked around most of the day on cloud nine but quickly the moment would pass and I would once again have greater expectations for myself.

Through it I have spent more time praying that I would see what I own, what I have accomplished, who I am, what I do as is and be grateful for what God has given me. I personally need to learn to live in the moment, to savour the the things God has so graciously given to me. My cars, my clothes, my money, my family, it is all His.

Check out this TED talk on this topic: The Happy Secret to Better Work

For Everything There Is a Season

I hope you all had a lovely Easter. 

I wish I could have pulled together a post especially for this weekend, but with all of the family festivities this weekend time seemed to slip by. 

We had a lovely weekend celebrating it with family and friends and hope you did, too! 

However, I will mention this Easter weekend for me came with a heavy heart. Rather then a time of joy, I found myself struggling with the need for answers and the feeling of a thick oppression over me. Sadly in our home when these questions come up, they are often backed up with so much emotion that my hubby and I almost always end up in a heated argument... one that is almost always completely avoidable. All that to say, it was a harder weekend then most. 

On a weekend that is meant for remembrance of an incredible God who sent His one and only Son to die on the cross for all of us, I found myself angry and questioning God once again for the pain and suffering so many people go through. For years, I never struggled with this anger. 

Over the years though, as I have grown more and more aware of the world around me rather then just me and my life, my heart breaks ever so quickly. People's stories of loss hit so much deeper then they ever have. I am a sensitive spirit this way; I have a great desire to see fairness in our world and yet our world is the least fair place. I struggle when injustice is done, and I have such a hard time just giving it up to God as I should and trusting He is the one to judge and will rightly do so. Instead, my heart hurts so quickly, and I find myself angry.

I felt it the most after I had my baby boy last April. Something happened; something changed. My heart broke even more than it ever had for babies/children all over the world who are sick, hurting, in unjust circumstances, or are orphans. 

I am not sure if anyone has seen it yet, but my husband brought up the idea of watching the movie "Dropbox" this weekend. A perfect weekend to deliberately spend time watching the miracles/good God is doing in the world. As much as I have wanted to watch this movie, I instantly shouted "no" at the idea. Everything inside me struggled to want to spend yet another evening saddened (instead of happy) by the very idea of little babies/children everywhere without their mamas caring for them. 

The truth is there is good going on even in the bad. A truth I struggle to make sense of. God said it in His very word: "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28 NLT.

 In all of the anger I struggle with, there is a decision I have to make. A decision to trust that God has a plan for absolutely everyone, no matter how short or long, or how hard or easy, their time on earth is. God is chipping away at all of us, molding us into the people he has called us to be. In all of the pain, struggles, grief, and confusion I feel at times, I personally have to choose whether I will abandon the very God who gave up his Son for me, or choose to trust Him that through it all He has a plan, one I may never understand, one that may ALWAYS seem unfair during my time on earth. But it is one plan that I know and believe will have a unimaginable, wondrous, everlasting, eternal end as long as I choose to trust.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing." Ecclesiastics: 3:1-22 ESV

Julie

Keeping Fit

As we all know, I have been beyond horrible at posting the DIY's promised. I am hoping to do a few in the next couple weeks. With our little guy's birthday approaching, I am finally getting a chance to get a couple of those final tasks complete.

These past few weeks have been filled with craziness in our home with my husband nearly finished with his semester of school, and for me photography season is just starting to pick up. With all of this, we have been taking every bit of extra time we have to spend with each other and our little man.
We are also so excited to be expecting a baby niece into the family hopefully this Easter weekend! We will keep you posted.

With all of the additional tasks this month, I also decided to get a membership at the gym. "What?!" you say. Yes, it is for real.
As I have already been very honest about..  I am not a huge gym-goer. I do not love the atmosphere, and I really do not enjoy "working out." I would much rather play a sport or go for a hike. But, sadly, I do not do that either.

I can say before I had my son, it didn't feel like it was that big of a deal if I never went to the gym. I got out a lot and walked around a lot, but as many of us know things change when you have a kid. I read so many blogs of these women who somehow can manage their active lifestyles while having a newborn and I think "HUH?!?" I was lucky enough to get out of the house to buy groceries let alone to have free time to go for a jog.

But now after a year, I finally feel like I can sneak-in some "me time." The gym never sounded like "me time" in the past, but now being a mom... having a deep desire to staying healthy and strong for my kiddos... going to gym as grown into "me time." Even more so after a super stressful day. My hopes are that over the next couple years, we as a family will be able to be a much more active family, however that looks. Whether it be regular hikes, home workouts, who knows?
We will see what is in store.

Love, Julie

Dear Kristi

Dear Kristi, 

This morning while scrolling through Facebook, I came across your video clip of "Kristi Gordon: responds to haters criticizing her pregnancy wardrobe." Being a mother of one, and a recent prego, I was interested to hear your response. 
What I was not expecting though was to feel as much emotion as I did while watching the video, nor did I think the comment/emails you had received would be as ridiculous, ignorant, cruel, cowardly, and down right mean as they were. My heart broke for you, and every other woman whose joy of being pregnant and growing a wee one could be stolen by someone's so called "jokes," mean words or ridiculous expectations.  

Now I will start by saying I have no idea what it feels like to be in your shoes. I don't get any regular hate mail that I have to scour through in my email, nor did I receive any mean comments about my weight or wardrobe through out my pregnancy minus the few "you are wearing that again?" comments. I will say though if I had, I would have most likely broken down and cried... on camera. I am happy you are strong, I loved that you laughed at them. But it does not change how unacceptable and horrible these letters are. 

Yes, I am sure it was some, pardon my french, jerk-face who was just making a practical joke to get themselves on what they would call "Global News." But I was surprised by these people's lack of integrity and need to make themselves feel better about themselves through a sick joke. I am sad our world is not filled with men and women who always open doors for each other, comment on how well you are doing as mother of as many children as you have, and are always willing to give you a helping hand while carrying your many groceries to the car. I am thankful for the people we do have like this.

If this was a joke, no one is laughing. Those words were down right mean, and as happy as I am that you, Kristi, are so strong... there are many people out there who are not. Words have power, and if these people continue down this road, there will be consequences to their words one day, even if they never put a return address on any of their letters.

Now for the important part: Kristi, as you probably know, you do/will look beautiful no matter what you wear. But let it sink in. You are carrying the most precious gift ever given, which I am sure being a Mother already you are well aware of. I can almost be 100% certain that the very person(s) who wrote those emails are not parents and, if they are, sadly they probably have a lot of work to do on becoming better parents, because everyone who has been fortunate enough to have experienced the miracle of a child and the 9 month process beforehand would NEVER say what these people said. I am certain of it. Life really is too short to worry about the "haters," and there are too many people who see it how it really is. It is sad we live in a world with cruelty and horrible people, but the great thing is we also live in a world with amazing, kind, courageous, brave, supportive people... with incredible souls (and wee babies that take our breath away and give us more joy then we ever could have imagined). 
My family and I are thinking of you, and pray for a healthy, safe delivery. 

Love, Julie

Project Life

Project Life: Core Card Kit and Pocket Photo Pages

Alongside all of the DIY crafts I am in the process of completing I took on yet another task that I have been so excited to share.

I am all about simplicity. Although I am quite perfectionist I like to do things quickly and efficiently.

One thing I talked about in my post "when a 1000 photos just isn't enough" was this idea of starting an online scrapbook. I loved the idea of creating a book that was clean and polished at the same time not having to invest in a ton of supplies. I took a look a couple of sites online such as MixBook and MyPublisher (which by the way I would go with MixBook over MyPublisher any day) but once again it just did not seem to do the trick for me.

A few pro's of an online scrapbook:
1. Clean and polished
2. Simple minus the cropping and stretching of photos which could take time
3. Can add text
4. Pretty cheap compared to investing in scrapbook materials
5. I think the whole process is a lot faster

A few cons of an online scrapbook:
1. Uploading can take forever (although MixBook was much faster then MyPublisher)
2. Often cropped too much of my photo off
3. Could only fit so many photos
4. Could, but thought it would not look as nice, hand write events on the pages.
5. Did not find it simple to sort through my photos
6. Can't add memorabilia

I had finally kind of put aside the thought of making a scrapbook altogether until I came across Project Life.

If you are anything like me, you like to do things quickly and still like to see amazing results, Project Life is for you. It is made for anyone on the go who doesn't have a lot of time to cut, glue, paste, etc. You will see below the end product looks clean and neat.
It is a bit of a investment in the beginning but I feel it is well worth it (approx. $125 not including developing photos). Here are the steps:

Project life:
1. But a Core Card Kit... there are lots too choose from (29.99 USD online)
2. Buy the Pocket Photo Pages (29.99 USD online for a large package which is what I got)
3. Buy an album (range in price online, I already owned one)
4. I bought an edge rounder cutter because I am that perfectionistic and wanted all my photos to look the same
5. Pick out your photos and order them at any photolab close to use (no larger then 4X6 to fit the pocket pages)
6. Cut them as you like to fit the smaller pocket pages
7. Add the cards from the card kit however you like
8. Write on the cards as you like
9. Can easily add certain memorabilia

There are tons of free cards online as well if you are looking for something specific. Below is my start to Project Life. I have yet to order photos... so my book is just filled with the cards so far but take a look.

Album I actually already owned which was a money saver

The start to my book 

Work in progress

Corner Rounder

I'll be sure to share more of the project as it progresses. I am so excited about the end project! 

Another Milestone

Well I promised a few posts back a few DIY's were on there way.
But sure enough life happened and I have yet to fully complete any of them! Every day nap time arrives and I think... I need to take some photos of these DIY's in progress. But sadly something catches my attention like the sink full of dirty dishes, the laundry that is still in the dryer or the little cries I hear coming from my son room... awake a little early.
So finally 8pm comes along and I try again but at that time there is not a single ounce of natural light coming through a window (a necessity for good pictures... the perfectionist in me as a photographer).

I don't think I can put all the blame on the stack of dirty dishes or the unfolded laundry for hogging all my time. Last week something special happened it our house... and truth is it is making our house a lot more active.

This past week my Dad came over for dinner, as my little guy cruised around our house while holding our hand my dad challenged us to let him walk on his own. Sure enough with a few tries and little a bit of encouragement our little man was taking his first few steps by himself. We were beyond ecstatic.

Now, everything has changed. Every day his confidence grows more and more, he gets stronger and stronger, and everyday my husband and I find ourself needing to keep just a bit of a closer eye on him. So three weeks ago I could place him nicely in front of stack of toys and sure he would crawl around here and there (he was never much of a crawler but he gets around a bit) and this week he is pulling himself up onto everything and at times taking the risk of walking on his own.

I could not be more excited for Summer with this new milestone our little guy has tackled. Our house makes me go a little crazy going around and around our kitchen and living room with a nearly running toddler. So the dirty dishes and unfolded laundry will most likely have to wait just a little longer while my little guy perfects this new skill.

Now for a bit of a heart to heart, in all honesty I do not know how so many Mothers of one or MORE do it. How easy so many make parenting look. And for all the Mothers who don't know where the days go, see the dark circles under their eyes and not sure when the last time they washed their hair was... I am with you. Girl you are doing great!

Yours Truly,
Julie

10 Things Every New Mom Wants You to Know

1. She may just fall of the face of the earth
We all know babies are all consuming. She will spend a lot less time on social media, she will loose her phone 4 times a day, and she may just decide at times it is "family time" instead of talking on the phone/hanging-out-with-you time.

2. She may always be late
Seriously, as someone who was never late for anything I am surprised how often I am late now. Everything takes twice as long, so just have a little grace when maybe not only the first time, but the second time and third time she is late.

3. Baby is all she will talk about.
Many moms have nursing problems, colicky babies, and babies who wake up very often at night. When you ask her how she is doing, don't be surprised if it is often the same topic. Yes, she should try to ask you how you are doing and possibly talk about something more then her life but truth is it will come up and if you truly care about how she feels you will listen and be patient.

4. Don't be surprised if she always asks you to come to her house.
Babies nap, babies go to be early, babies need to nurse and a lot of these things are just done better at home. But don't worry as her kids get older it will change again and she too will completely understand when you have your own kids.

5. Make her a meal or two when baby arrives
Out of every single thing people did for us when we have our first son it was making us a meal that was the MOST helpful! Were starving!!! No need to explain, just do it.

6. Don't tell her she looks exhausted, because she is and she does not need the reminder!
No one likes to hear they look exhausted it really is just another way of saying... you look bad! Truth is she is exhausted and instead of pointing out how she looks instead, come over, watch her baby (if she is comfortable with it) and let her take a nap.

7. Support her if she has to cut a coffee date short.
Before I had my son I judged people all the time for not having their kids on a nap schedule! But truth is, it is not that easy. Your baby changes every day and I would have to say it is not until now (10 months later) that we have a pretty consistent nap schedule. Till then I had it was all up in the air. Baby woke up early, slept later, wouldn't eat blah blah blah. I had to come late to breakfast dates and leave early from friends houses, that was just the way it was.

8. Accept things will change and either adapt or move on, her life will never be the same.
Things have changed forever. She has a child now and that is her priority. Don't get me wrong it can hurt when your friends aren't there like they use to be or when it starts to feel like they don't try very hard. I don't think it is right that you are always the one making the effort, that friendship needs some reconsideration or a good talk but having some understanding is key. By all means through it all I hope she appreciates you!

9. Her house may never look the same, don't judge.
Just don't judge. She may not have time to clean it and its ok! As her baby becomes a toddler her sink may be full of dirty dishes, laundry all over the place and her house not cleaned for weeks. She may just live in yoga pants and her kiddies may be running around in just a diaper every time you come over. That is just life for now. Just love on her as she is!

10. Don't examine her baby when you come over.
If you didn't already know, all babies develop differently. So don't come over and point out why your other friends baby is crawling and hers is not. You get the point. All babies are different and instead of examining them just love on them.

Yours Truly,
Julie

Party Planning + DIY's

As many of you already know I have already started to plan my little guys first birthday.
I know, I am crazy. It is beginning of March and the planning is nearly complete. And in all honesty, I started in February, right after I finished planning for this baby shower above.

As I have already shared I love to decorate. I wish someone would pay me to decorate. And even better decorate and take pictures of the decorations!
But for now I will keep dreaming.

Back in February I had come up with the idea of doing a vintage lemonade party, however I lacked a lot of decor and knew it was going to be a bit of an investment to make it work. Luckily a dear friend of mine (who loves to plan parties as much as I do, and her parties will be on my photography blog soon!) came up with the idea of doing a milk and cookies party! BAM! That is what I want to do!

It has been tons of fun scouring pinterest, browsing Michaels for ideas and creating things at home. I am defiantly the type of person who sees something and most of the time says: I am going to make that. I have a hard time spending money especially on decor and feel as if I am being super thrifty if I DIY. But hey if you hate to craft and want to buy it, do it!

One of my all time favorite things to do is sit down in the evening with a good show on, sip tea and creating something!

So on that note I thought since we have so many moms interested in this blog it might be fun to do a few DIY crafts on here. Simple things all of you can do! For instance: a wooden growth chart, tissue paper tassel, paper pennants, chalkboards and maybe a few more.

So that is what I am hoping to share in the next couple posts to come. Always feel free to leave a comment or write us an email if you have any questions as all! Look forward to sharing with you all!

Yours truly
Julie

Being A Mother Of A Boy

After our little guy was born, I shared on my previous blog a bit about the shock I had when we found out we were having a boy. My mother had two girls, and I grew up in a home with just women. Other than a short time living with my Dad, my husband was the first man I ever lived with. There's nothing unusual about this situation; however, when it came to having babies, the realization I was having a boy was one I did not know what to do with.

I remember sitting at a restaurant with my husband, and this gut feeling of fear rushing over me. The feeling was just that: fear. How do I raise a boy? All I know is girl. How will I ever relate to him? Will we be close like I would have assumed I would be with a girl? All these thoughts flooded my mind as we sat there looking at the ultrasound picture, with the small writing of "boy" with an arrow pointing to his "you know what" and this small note above confirming it.

Sure, the moment did not last long, maybe an hour, and I was already over the initial fear, and the pure joy of knowing a bit more about my very first child rushed over me. But in all of it, I carried with me a deep need to know that somehow I would be able to do this. 

For months leading up to our son's birth, I started many books and read many blog posts, like "Top 10 Things to Know When You are Having a Boy" or "Raising Boys," by Dr. Dobson. In all of it, I was looking for some sort of answer for how to deal with the fear of my darling child having more energy than I could have ever imagined, the desire to play with swords and guns, wrestle, and ultimately probably break more than just a few bones in his lifetime. I wanted answers to his possible love for violent sports, fast cars, or anything extreme. I wanted to know how I would possibly talk to my son about his attraction to girls one day, and for goodness sake, some things will just be left up to my husband. Basically, I needed to understand testosterone. All that to say, as much as I am sure the stages boys go through are similar to those of girls... I felt afraid due to my lack of knowledge and the unknown.

My thoughts were evident during the time when it was just me, hubby, and baby in my belly. But may I just say, once he got here, I have yet to really think about it since. I would have never expected the amount of unknown that came with being a parent. Those few things I feared regarding having a "boy" was minuscule compared to the reality of raising a child in general, girl or boy! In all of it, I know there will be differences, but for now... I look forward to facing those challenges with other mothers of boys. 

Parties + Decorating

I cannot believe my baby boy is almost one! It is crazy!

I am in the process of making a slideshow for his party, and I am amazed at how time has gone by so fast! And yes, I will admit, I have started his birthday planning way too early!

I love to throw parties...I love to decorate, bake, and have as many people over as I can. The one thing that always comes with parties, though...is the need for money. Having a husband in Seminary, working one day a week, and me home with the baby makes for not a ton of extra cash floating around. So most of the time when I want to throw a party, I am determined to search around my house to find whatever I can to decorate with.

Most of the time my parties default to whatever I already own, and that's okay. However, with my little guy's first birthday arriving in a couple months...I am realizing more and more that most of what I own is really girly! Trying to turn girly things into something masculine is always interesting. I have turned to the hubby to keep everything in check when it comes to the manly decor I come up with. A few things I have heard over the last week: "Julie, you can't use flowers, or at least not those flowers, way too girly" and "Lace? At a boy's birthday? Not going to work," and last night I got "Could you add some brown?" Okay, I get it--it looks girly! But it is all a work in progress, another reason I started so early!

All this to say, as much as I love to decorate and host parties, I am also often convicted of my need to meet the world's standard of what parties are suppose to look like today. Now days we live in a world of Pinterest perfect parties. I am one who deeply loves to decorate and wish I had endless money to do so. I don't think there is anything wrong with using your creativity, but at the same time there is a fine balance between what is me just decorating and what is me trying to meet a Pinterest standard. It is so easy to look on Pinterest and quickly feel unhappy with the things we have since it feels as if so many others have so much more stuff, talent, resources, money, whatever it may be. This is my battle every time I take it upon myself to throw a party. I start off super excited to use my creativity to come up with something extraordinary, but eventually over time I often (not always) find myself bummed that I don't have as much as she does, can't buy this or that, or just feel I don't have the creativity others have. It is sad to know we live in a world in which the standard is perfection.

So this year, I will tell myself again... what my party looks like does not matter. It does not matter to all the friends who truly care about my son and celebrating him, it does not matter to my husband, it does not matter to my son one bit, and more importantly it does not matter to God. What the world says I should be is not the standard I am meant to meet. Instead, what is going to matter is the people who we get to spend time with and the celebration of my son and the miraculous God who created him. I am excited to have our son's village come around him and celebrate him and his first year on this earth, and whatever the party looks like in the end, well... who cares?! I'm determined to just enjoy the process!

Moments Like These

I have been looking forward to this moment all day today. I have boiled some water for tea, grabbed a Ferrero Rocher from the cupboard, and am thoroughly enjoying what may be an hour to myself.
It is crazy how much I respect and enjoy down time now that I am a mother. The moments where I get to do nothing.

I'll be honest, I never thought I would be this exhausted as a new parent. I never thought the amount of energy I give of myself everyday, spending constant time and giving attention to my little one, would, at the end of the day, make me want to hit the hay at 8pm. But it does.

Every day, I go through a battle in my brain of whether or not I really want to wash my hair in the shower or skip showering all together, if doing more than 2 errands is that important, or putting on something more than sweat pants and a tank top is really required. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy going out, washing my hair, putting some normal clothes on, and getting things done... but truth be told, it just has to be worth it nowadays.

As I have mentioned before, laundry has turned into a week long process. It sits in the washer for at least 2 days, the dryer for another 2 days, and then the hamper for... well, until what I need in it is necessary. And in all of it, I go through another battle in my brain: laundry vs. nap.

My little one is nearly walking, and oh how things will change even more. Right now I can plop him down on our bed at 7am, give him a few toys and although he talks, pokes, pulls, and kicks the whole time, he is not up moving around. I will savour this time. I can still pull off another 20 minutes of lounging around and slowly waking up. In a few weeks, all that will change again. He will be able to pull himself up, walk, and go wherever his heart desires. And may I just say... he already likes trouble.

I love being a mother. It is the most amazing adventure anyone could ever ask for. But the reality is: it is hard work. I have yet to meet a mother who in all honesty can say being a parent is easy. So that being said, we should all give ourselves a little bit of grace. It is the hardest job I have ever had and more than I had ever expected. I never would have imagined that my baby would struggle to breastfeed, struggle to sleep train, or as I said before, just use up so much of my energy. But in all of it, there is one great thing I continue to remind myself of.

It is everything to know that, even in the midst of exhaustion and fatigue, I have a God who is walking us all through this stage. In all of it, I can trust Him and knowing He will only give me as much as I can handle. As hard as it may seem at times, I know He is faithful.
"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand." 1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT

The Kind of Friend I Wanna Be

It always seems to happen the same way. One week, I am reaching out to get together with friends and the next all I want to do is stay curled up on my couch. Maybe it's the introvert in me, I am realizing more and more as I get older. I love, love, love getting together with friends, but, at the end of the day, I feel worn out, tired, and just want to relax by myself.

As healthy as it can be to make sure you take care of yourself, something else happens during this time. At first I find myself very driven to reach out to friends, make plans, and keep busy, while the following week or maybe even two or three weeks it's a little like I fell off the face of the earth. I am sure not all of my friends feel this way, but I am sure some do.

Today as I got together with a group of ladies, who are also mothers, I caught myself feeling distant, feeling maybe just a bit more introverted. I felt tired, hungry, and well... to be honest, I have a list of excuses. As much as I wanted to be present and make friends, I found myself wanting to be home, curled up on the couch with a Starbucks. I hate it when I am like this.

The truth is that being introverted is not a bad thing at all. But on the other hand, I also feel like I have experienced the receiving side of this cycle. I know life is busy, and trust me I feel it too, and we are all different people with different priorities. However, I still feel like I am missing the mark when suddenly I have not seen/talked to any of my friends in who knows how long. Part of me really appreciates the me time, and another part of me wishes I could do it all.
All of this to say it was an incredible self discovery and realization of the person I don't want to be.

I don't want to be that friend who forgets birthdays, who screens calls, or hermits until I feel like I want to do it again. No, I want to be the type of friend who, despite the business and chaos of life, works hard. When I say work hard, I mean work hard at being a good friend.
The truth is, the friends we have in our lives are our village; they are the very people who inspire us daily. There are always those friends you can not talk to for who-knows-how-long and everything picks up where it left off, but then there are those friends that really depend on regular communication in a relationship.

I want to be the type of friend who can put her laundry aside and have coffee with a girl friend. I want to know I am the type of friend that someone can rely on, and I want to know how much my friends mean to me.
Life does get busy, don't get me wrong. There are always tons of things to juggle. But I guess that is where I want to be a different person. I want the people in my life to be at the top of my priority list. Not after laundry, not after dishes. No, I want them to be right after God and family time. Maybe I am just realizing more and more what really matters in life, and having a clean house and a made bed is all good and fine; but when faced with what I will do with my day, I want to know it is the people I love that come first.

Yours Truly,
Julie

When A 1000 Photos Just Isn't Enough

As I shared in my post Baby to Toddler, my little guy has been keeping me beyond busy. The day has come that sitting nicely and playing with his toys is just not an option. "The options, mom, are: hold me, or stand me up to walk" Pretty much how it goes around this house.

Tonight, I sat in the bath (yes, I actually got to take a bath) and thought about how life has changed. Hopping into a car with a fellow mama to run to the grocery store is not an option anymore...unless I feel very ambitious and plan to take out the car seat, put it into her car, then take it out again, and put it back into mine. I better be going to Disneyland if I plan to do that. Also, bath time goes a bit like this: it starts off as baby's bath time, then hubby takes the baby out to get into PJ's and I get the chance to fill the bath up the rest of the way...but by the time it reaches the top, it's time to get out. And do I dare mention bottle time? The only job I have is to prepare it, from there baby has everything under control!
As I have said, oh things have changed.

A friend of mine warned me just yesterday, "Julie, you think your baby has changed a lot in the first year... just wait till year 2. It is a roller-coaster of change." I sat there nodding, knowing exactly what she was talking about! Truth be told, I have no idea, do I?

So beyond today and my busy baby, what has been keeping me so busy? Recently, I have had an overwhelming fear of losing memories. And I will be honest: it is a bit ridiculous, and I will explain why. Not too long ago my brother-in-law and his wife came over to hang out. Since they are expecting a baby of their own this coming April, I tried to recall our first weeks home with baby. The topic was baby clothes, and I thought back to what we used to dress our little guy in during the first days home from the hospital... and to be honest, I couldn't remember what he wore. I even thought "Did we dress him at all? Did we just have a naked baby for the first few weeks? I do remember my mom telling me I needed to put some clothes on him, or he would be walking around our house nude before we know it." Either way, I couldn't remember, producing an immense amount of fear of not doing enough to preserve those precious moments. But here is why this fear is irrational for me: I am a photographer. So I have photos... a lot of photos! (It's so bad--I can NOT delete a single one I take). I am also a blogger and have done a lot of writing! You would think that would be good enough?
What I am not, though, is a scrapbooker! So what did I decide to do? Online scrapbook! Because my 1000's (literally) of photos are not enough, and recording every single milestone of my child's life in a blog is not enough. It's a little bit of overkill, I will admit!


I have heard before that the first child always gets this much attention, so for him he will have 1000's of photos, a story of every waking moment of his life, and now a handful of scrapbooks (just kidding, I am only making one). Our second kid? Well, I'll blog about it when the time comes.

Chat soon friends!
Yours Truly,
Julie

Baby to Toddler

It was literally overnight that my little guy went from laying on his back to rolling just about everywhere. Days later, what was once a happy baby on the floor, was a frustrated little boy crying until he was up on his feet holding someone's hands while scouting out the house for his next destination. Within that same time frame, while sitting on my husband's lap at his desk our little man reached down and pulled open his desk drawer, doing it over and over again. And, finally, what was once a content baby sitting in his highchair, is now a screaming toddler wanting to get out or for me to give him the bowl and spoon to feed himself.

What happened?

It was like yesterday when I could take a nap next to my baby without him picking my nose and kicking me in the face. Oh, how things have changed.

I have been well aware that each new stage of our child's life comes with new blessings and new challenges. But, oh, how unprepared I am. There is nothing in life that can ever prepare you fully for parenthood. I don't think you can ever read enough books, babysit enough kids, or talk to enough other parents to know exactly what being a parent feels like. 

I have worked many jobs in my life, and, without a shadow of a doubt, being a parent has been the hardest one. I only have one kid. He isn't even walking, and he is about the happiest baby I know--and it's still hard work. But as I said, with every new stage comes new blessings and new challenges. 

What was once a screaming baby at nap time, is now a sleep-trained baby, who falls asleep within minutes of being put down. A baby who once breastfed for 45 minutes can suck it back now within 10. And a child who would not play by himself for 10 minutes while I ran to the bathroom is now a pretty content baby... I can most likely even blow dry my hair.

There is nothing like knowing that yes things may just get harder in some areas, but there will be others that will get easier. Oh Lord, I am not prepared for these years ahead, but, thankfully, I have a God I can trust throughout the process. I have a God I can turn to in those moments when my patience is slim, my strength is weak, or my joy is limited.

Yours Truly,
Julie

P.S. If you have time, be sure you check out this amazing article I came across today on Huff Post Parents: Mommy, Somebody Needs You.

29 Years

Hooray for 29 years!
It's 3:30 in the afternoon, baby is down for nap, and my darling husband has locked himself in our bedroom wrapping presents for me. During this time, I find myself folding some laundry and reminiscing on 29 years.

I often feel as if I have not done much with my life. Sure, I have literally done lots of things, but I don't always feel like I have met the level of "being successful" through the world's eyes. Yes, I have traveled a bit, gotten married, and started a small family, but really I'm barely educated, I am no CEO of a successful company, and I am the farthest thing from owning a home. In these moments, I often find myself thinking of what I am not, rather than what I am.

As I fold the second basket of laundry, I think to myself "Julie, have you really, deeply thought about what you have succeeded at in this life?" The answer: no.

For some reason, the battles I have faced throughout my life quickly slip my mind when I am thinking about who I should be at 29 years old. I get completely caught up in measuring myself up to everyone else around. They have a home, so why don't I? She has a career, and what am I doing? They get to go to Europe, but I will never be able to afford that.

As I thought about the above question, I asked myself whether I had a good solid reality check of what it means to succeed, not to the world but to God. I took a seat and thought about the very things I knew without a doubt in my mind that God had motivated and guided me to succeed at. They are things the world will not necessarily give me a gold star for, but I know that my measure of success is not one that the world is to dictate, but instead what God is to decide.

Again, I am no CEO of a successful company, I don't have a bachelors degree, nor do I own a house or have money coming out of my wazoo. But I do have a home, I have as much education as my life had time for, I am a survivor of an eating disorder, and a determined young woman who completed high school during a time of trials. I now have a beautiful son, and I chose an amazing husband.

The point I am really trying to make is: success is in the eye of the beholder, and really our beholder is our Heavenly Father. One who does not measure success by how fancy our clothes are or how big our house is. Our successes are all different, and all just as big as someone else's. No one is more successful for the amount of school they have done or money they have earned in God's eyes. No, God sees all of our successes as little as they seem to us. Our success is not what the world tells us; it is what our God tells us it is. And everyone's successes are different. We all have our battles we are facing, and it's our willingness to trust Him through them that is our success, whether that be battling a mental disorder or working a full-time job to provide for our families. Maybe it is being single during this time, or trusting God in a time of despair. Our successes are what God calls us to, no matter what that is. So look back on your life, think of the things God has guided you through, and know you are successful!

Yours truly,
Julie