Sometimes I get it right friends. I forgive and move on. But
sometimes, far too often I’m afraid, my heart gets impatient. Really, right now? This. I don’t have time
for this. All I asked you to do was wait until I finished cleaning up the mess you
made in the bathroom and then...Ah!! And what’s that? When did you step on your
snack and rub it in the carpet? My daughter’s head drops down slightly; she
noticed I wasn’t so quick to forgive today. “Sorry mama, I do marker on baby's seat,” she repeats. I take a deep breath, “It’s okay baby girl, mama can wash it,” I try to assure her. But I
knew she read my heart louder than my words. And sometimes, like today, my heart likes to take tally, to add up all the “wrongs” that happened in my day, and then complain
about them and blame others for them.
But Jesus. He’s different.
He had a heart to forgive before we
even asked, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are
doing.” (Luke 23:34a), he forgave while
he was cleaning up our mess (Luke
23:39-43), and he forgave completely,
“It is finished.” (John 19:30).
Forgive and forget. That’s what we aspire to do as mamas. And it's so hard! I know. Even if we manage to do it successfully on the outside our hearts can be full of ugly.
Paul, a former hater-of-Jesus turned radical believer-in-Jesus, was dramatically changed after encountering God's forgiveness. He gives the advice not to just forgive and forget, but to remember and forgive (Colossians 3:13b). We remember
that our sin, the ugly in our hearts that leads to death, was washed away and
made clean, covering our past, our future, and our forever. Jesus even keeps the
scars of the cross on his wrists to remind us of his forgiveness, because it is important we remember (John 20:25-27; Revelation 5:6). Remember and forgive. So today, with Jesus in view I'm trying to forgive.
“God, forgive me.” I
pray. “My little one apologizes for her
marker mess, but my heart is a bigger mess. Help me to remember your love and
forgiveness through Jesus, to receive it in my life, and to extend it to my children.”
Together let's remember
and forgive, because sometimes it’s just not possible to forgive and forget when our hearts
aren’t ready.
With you,
Cassidy
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13
Thank you so much for sharing this Cassidy! Big tears were welling up in my eyes as I read this - probably for multiple reasons - I'm so proud of you for doing this and being so open and honest in your post as well as because of the truth you shared about real life and how it relates to Jesus. I can so picture little Scarlie saying this to you and being truly repentant and how it can be so hard to forgive when someone is constantly messing up/learning (child or adult!). Since you'd "love to chat" I'd like to engage and share that I both loved and struggled with your call to remember - I have clug so tightly to verses like Hebrews 8:12 (For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.") and Isaiah 43:25 ("I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.) which promise that God forgets our sin. I had imagined that me trying to forget others' sins would help bring true, final forgiveness of sins as Christ does for us. I guess I had tied forgiveness and forgetting together tightly. It's hard because our God is all knowing and outside of our time - so I don't think that he actually can forget, but he's telling us that he's choosing to do so. Also for us, it's hard to actually literally forget so I think you're completely right in saying that we need to practice forgiveness in the midst of remembering. Remembering the good things that God has done for us is such an integral part of scripture and our faith that I can't help but agree with you that remembering is extremely important. Well, now that I've rambled on I'll stop see where the discussion takes us... :) Let's remember, forgive, and forget!
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